He never knows how I feel. He will never know. Looking at our photos, and some of the photo i took for him while he was singing, while he was eating... he just never know.
I may have not met his expectations, but he have already forgotten when I look for him, I always make sure to send him to his door step.
I got this morning depression again, I woke up exactly the same time every morning by myself without the alarm ringing. That depressive and miserable feeling will start at this point of time. He may think I am stupid, why I still stick to him no matter how many times he cheated or how many times the things he does that hurts me, because I accepted him and embraced him. At that very first time when I kneel down and gave him the flowers, I have already decided I will be with this person and will never let go... unless he wants me to leave and no longer needs me.
I texted him this morning, and he insisted to end it. He no longer needs me anymore. Every time when he said "good bye lao gong" I will always "replied "hello lao po". I said that because I always hope and wish that I will never need to leave him in anyway, I will never need to leave him behind..I will never need to say good bye.
But today I replied him good bye. Because he wants me to go.
I guess I will never have the chance to be the first to wish him nor to celebrate with him because he already have someone who replaced me. So I wished him in advance today.
I am always afraid to forget him, but now I have to.
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