不舍得的感情

我不舍得这份感情，但是就算我不舍得，就算我努力，我还是得不到他的全心全意。就算我放弃了那些事，他还是没有放弃他们。我已经努力过了，我觉得不管我有多努力，他也不会全心全意的爱我对待我。

我要开始在学着爱自己多一次了。

Choose between the new or the old, You just want the best of both

I wish you have give up the people you newly met or know. I wish you have been honest to me from the start. we will be happy and there will be no more things that drift us apart. But until now...you choose to hide things from me, you choose to secure this people instead of our relationship. Until now, you still want the best of both world. The things you told me before was a lie. You told me once you are attached you will stay loyal and not meet mb anymore. You told me you won't meet people if we are together. But the things you do and said were a different thing.

I have given up this things for you, but you continue to choose to secure what you have. You love yourself more really. And I am starting to love myself more now. I told you before... Once I feel that I have tried my best and you still doing the same things, I won't give up anything for you too nor will I be honest to you again. When I can't be honest to my partner, I don't feel good anymore. By leaving you is the best for you. Since you need them so much then me, I let you continue to and I will go. You can tell that I no longer call you now nor pickup your call. Because I think this is the best for you to do the things you like and be with the people you want to. Do not tell me you want me 'only', your action did not show at all since the beginning until to date. Commitment and want me 'only' is a different thing. Because since the chalet until the MB, until the telegram, until the text: "Why you use sim not plan" already is showing you do not want me "only" but you want everything that you liked. You want not just me.

I know what I want. A relationship that is honest to one another, sincere and loyal with each other. When you can't have this quality I mentioned, I can't provide this quality to you too. When I can't, I don't know how to continue this relationship with you anymore.

My Heart is broken

My heart is broken. After he told me he attached with someone new. I feel like crying now. Deep in my heart cracks, and deep in me I am crying badly. I can't be with him anymore. When I really give up in a relationship, is when I am not needed, not loved and also when my partner attached with someone new. This is a painful process for me. And this is not the first time. I will do anything now to forget him.

You are so cruel to me. So heartless to me. all because I hanged your call and you do that to me. Everytime I forgive you, I stick to you, even when you hit me, found mb, scold me, I always forgive you and loved you. I loved you so much and you told me you attached with someone new. While I am typing my feelings here in the office, tears is accumulating in my eyes. Trying to hold back my tears. Now I know what we have had wasn't real. I loved you so much and you treated me like this just because I hanged your call, and just because of my insecurities, and you did this to hurt me. I still thought we could have something on 18th April the day we first met at mos burger. And 4th June will be our one year being together. You gave up our love just like this with someone.

I hope the Goddess will standby me. Keep me strong, and my love for you will disappear.