...

He blocked me the whole day. By right I m planning to go over today. If the morning msg I send wasn't true he will just said crazy laogong. He rather choose to block me whole day. Once he blocked my whole day and his alone at home, very clearly u know what happens from his history. Since he want to block me, from this moment I am not going to call Nor text him already. I am sure he is meeting someone at his place now else he won't block me until now. Since he wants to do this to me, I don't bother anymore. And when Tmr comes it will be too late

I feel depress

I feel very sad. I am not going to work today. I feel depress to know u don't love me anymore. U don't love me as much as I loved u. You just want to leave like this. Easily let go of me.

Star dust

When I feel that I am not needed anymore I will leave. Since he is determined to leave me, and told me he don't love me as much as before as he prefer to do the things he likes. Yup he loved himself more, I Guess all along he have, just that he do not notice only. I gave myself a final try this morning, so I know I will have no regrets without even trying. I have a feeling someone at the same time tells him about the negative sides too.

It's a pity of what we have had became nothing now. If he loves me he will wait for me to do the things he likes together. Yup he loves himself more then i loved him.

When he told me we are both very negative, I don't really agree that part, but of cos I know there's no point for me to say so much now.

Now I no longer feel needed,  my natural instinct and reaction is to live by myself now, await for one who will need me, one who need my love to give.

I will forget about what we have had,  and forget about him. When time have make me forget about him, my love for him will disappear.

A shinning beam in the sky
Which ran across my eyes
When it's about to land
I grab it with my hands
For that moment I thought
That it was something I got
But the star faded so fast
That the star had turned to dust


Our love is just like star dust.

Two Memories but One that Live

The night had swallowed me whole
Shall I keep this love or withhold.
Silly me waiting for thee,
To tell me thy love me.

Both memories but one that live
I know I am weak in this
I do not need luxury things
I am just a simple me

I used to fly myself in fire
For my heart desire
As I have charmed by thee
But silly me waiting for thy promise

A Lonely person, a lonely song
Thee do not know my persistant
A lonely song who shall sing with me
How long is this journey

Since when did we stop asking
Of how are thee and me
A lonely person, a lonely song
Time seems like passed long

Mixed feelings

I Guess you don't love me anymore. If u do you will not have went staycation with someone. I don't do staycation with anyone, unless I liked the person. All I need is you will tell me everything in the future about your life. I think you have made your decision, else u would have text me, called me and you will pickup my call or my videocall.

Sometime it felt like a falling star, once shimmered and passed so quickly, with an blink of eyes, and it became empty. Like a fading star from afar, I only can look at it from the horizon and it slowly turn to dust.

Freedom is what I want now. When a relationship changes, it's never gonna be the same again. I know new opportunities had came in between our rls. Our rls became a trial an error. That's why i like to solve things imediately. But since it's already happened, then I just have to accept this uncontrollable changes. And embrace.

My insecurity

You already joined the japan class. I Guess things will nv be the same again.

Just now I thought of u. I missed the past.

U liked young guys... Which I didn't know at all. If u have told me from the start, I won't feel bad about it now.

Maybe I really dunno you that well at all. There's so many things I dunno about you.

So manythings you did not tell me previously. And it was slowly I got to know.

Everything which have accumulated makes me very insecure.

Blocking and ending~

At this moment, at this hour, at this time and in this space.. when he blocked me, I have decided to set myself free. There's no need to say anything to him anymore. I have stick to him the time when he did the worst to me, the hitting, the cheating, the lieing, the verbal abuse to my late mother and etc...all of this i have torlerated and compromised. And he can tell me I can't compromise him for the japan trip?

At this moment, I am free.

我决定回到原来的自己回到原点。

4 May 2018 Month of Taurus
17.10pm Time of Jupiter
Friday Day of Venus
Lunar 19 Waning Moon