Another Windy Night and I couldn't get to sleep

It's another windy night. The sudden cold have woken me. I couldn't get to sleep again. There's so much thoughts in my mind right now. This was really my worst experience after all. Beside my mum passing on, this was the second worst experience of my life. What happened really changed my thoughts, view, and morality towards a relationship. But I hope one day when I met the right person, the right one will change this negative thoughts to a positive ones. Sometime it may not be easy if you met the wrong people, it may complicate your life. A local friend  adviced me to meet educated people, people who have moral values, people who have stable job, people who  is financially stable, someone who save for his or her future. Someone who have the thought to settle down and have their own lovely home. Coming to thought of that, what I experience in the past were all the opposite. I have always let my emotion clouded my vision, and unable to see all this things which I am supposed to see. Before all this happen, if I loved someone, I don't care if they are educated or not, I don't care if they are financially stable or not, I will accept everything, good or bad. I will take care of the one I loved and be a responsible Boy Friend. But I am turning 30 soon..and I have learned that sometime no matter how well u treated the one you love, they will not always be grateful nor should u expect to be treated the same way. What happens really disappointed me, and make me lost he confident I once have. But I really hope one day what I have lost will return. And that the right one can heal me and let me be the me I once am, and remove this trauma.